


Where my Demons Hide

by RukiaLynn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sabriel - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12488100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RukiaLynn/pseuds/RukiaLynn
Summary: Dean Winchester has a lot on his mind. He drowns his depression and anxiety in alcohol. Cas can't keep watching the man he loves drown himself in alcohol, and Sam can't keep watching his brother suffer the way he has been. It's time for an intervention, and time to get Dean to realize that his mental state is causing his alcoholism





	Where my Demons Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly I Don't Own anything that is Canon. Secondly This is my  first story in almost 6 years, and my first to be published. There may be quite a few triggers in this chapter; mentions of Homophobic slurs, Physical/mental abuse, alcoholism, suicide attempts, and self-harm. they're only briefly mentioned in this Chapter, but may come back in other chapters.

Dean blinks a couple of times trying to adjust to the bright light that his eyes were now being assaulted by. He remembered next to nothing about the night before: he remembers going to the bar, but he doesn't remember driving home or even leaving the bar. His head? Pounding like someone bashed his skull in. Looking over he not only sees Sam and Cas sleeping in chairs next to his bed, but also a glass of water and a couple of Aspirin sitting on his nightstand. Dean groans softly as he sits up to grab the Aspirin. His groan wakes Sam and Cas up. While Sam stretches Cas quickly helps Dean sit up to take the Aspirin. "Dean," Cas says wearily, "I don't really think that this is healthy for you. Physically or mentally"  
Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes as he carefully swallows the Aspirin. Gently pushing Cas away Dean gets up to stretch. " Cas, I don't think you know what you are talking about. I mean how could you? It's not like you're human." states Dean in a huff.  
Sam looks at his brother and sighs, "Dean, Cas may not understand in the way you think he does but he does care. I can't keep letting you drink yourself to death like dad did! This isn't healthy for you!"  
Dean looks at Sam defeated, he knew that he wouldn't win this. He was scared, he was broken, he didn't want to keep fighting his inner demons alone. He was slowly drinking himself to death, and he knew it. He just didn't want to admit why he drank the way he did. He didn't want his brother or best friend to think he was crazy. "Dean? Are you alright?" Cas asks softly  
Dean's head shoots up not realizing that he had started looking down. "Yeah, I was just thinking."  
Dean walks away mumbling something about coffee and a shower. Sam and Cas look at each other confused about what just happened. When they reached the kitchen Dean had already taken a quick shower and was impatiently waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Dean looked over at them with a sad smile. At that point Sam and Cas were extremely worried and sat at the island in the kitchen of the bunker. Dean grabbed three cups and silently filled them with coffee before handing them over and sitting across from his brother and best friend with his cup. Dean sighed softly before speaking "I think I owe you guys some answers. This isn't going to be easy to hear, and it's going to be even harder for me to say.  Sammy, you're probably going to hate me for what I'm about to say." With a sigh Dean looks down refusing to meet his brother's eyes before speaking again, "It started when I was 13, I was starting to realize that I wasn't only attracted to women. Dad walked in on me one day with a guy, that's when the abuse started. At first it was just verbal, he'd throw extremely homophobic slurs at me when you weren't around. Then he started getting physically abusive, always after a hunt where I got injured so you wouldn't question when I looked beat to hell. At 14 I started to self harm, trying to ease the pain of my own depression. At 16 I tried to commit suicide because the pain was unbearable, Dad found me and beat the shit out of me before taking me to the hospital. Claiming that he found me like that. My drinking started shortly after I was released because it numbed the pain I was in. It takes the edge off of my pain, makes the anxiety and panic attacks from my time in hell easier to handle. I-I-I" He cuts off tears streaming down his face "I need help Sammy"  
Cas just looks at the man he secretly loves wishing that he could take the pain away. Sam on the other hand looks like he's about to go into shock with his brothers confession. Slowly Sam looks at his brother "Dean, I'm so sorry dad put you through all of that. Had I known I would have done anything to stop it! I'm sorry I left to go to college" Sam stopped short seeing his brother hold his hand up to stop him.  
"It's not your fault Sam. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to be the burden dad always told me I was. I'm coming clean now, and I need help getting my life straight. Can you help me do that Sam?" Dean says softly  
What no one noticed was that they were being watched from the corner of the kitchen, and the person disappeared again before anyone could notice with only one thought on their mind. 'Dean must get help in anyway possible'

**Author's Note:**

> And there you guys have it. Chapter one! Sorry it's a bit short, I will be making future chapters longer. I just need to get back into the swing of things. Thank you!!


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